Friday, May 28, 2010

Don't Hate Me Because I Live In China

My last post talked about the kooky, sometimes unpleasant aspects of Beijing.  I wanted to balance that out with some good stuff.  

Some of you would never have done what we have done...leave our lovely home, close to our family and dear friends to move half way around the world to such a foreign country.  Most of you think it is a fabulous experience but when push came to shove, you would probably not trade places.  I could be wrong but I've seen the eyes of people when I told them we were moving to China...their eyes got as round as saucers, their mouths dropped and then they were usually speechless, trying to grasp something positive to say.  Well here's something positive...

I have servants!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Kooky Tales from Planet China

I am reading this fabulous book called "Lost on Planet China" that my British School of Houston gal pals gave me as a going away present.  I am so glad I waited to read it as it is hilarious once you know that he is speaking the truth.   China is a whole other planet, strange and mystifying but familiar in some ways.  Beijing can be just like Houston.  You might forget for a while where you are but then some kooky thing happens and reality rushes in.

Hocking Loogies, Shooting Snot, Urinating in Public - Beijing is the capital of the People's Republic of China.  Hello!?!  It is NOT civilized to purge an immense, glutinous loogie from somewhere deep within your innards or expel snot from first one nostril and then the other!  I hear the city has improved in this regard since there was a crackdown pre-Olympics to curtail the expulsion of the contents of noses and lungs.  There is nothing like seeing this lovely sweet Chinese grandmother, hocking the biggest loogie in the history of mankind, right before your shocked and appalled eyes.
    My Facebook friends will be familiar with this story but it's a doozie and worth sharing again.  I was at Shin Kong Place which is a Galleria type mall with high-end stores and a huge indoor playground.  I took Isla in the family bathroom and was helping her in one of the many open stalls.  As I exit the stall, I notice another mother standing in front of the sink, holding her toddler boy as he wizzes into the sink.  Isla points to the little boy's willie and asks what it is.  I'm too busy gaping in utter horror and amazement, waiting for the woman to turn around so she can see the perfectly clear disgust on my face.  Unfortunately, she never looked at me and she definitely didn't understand my words of revulsion.